I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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