I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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