you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
