youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
