Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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