I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize