How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
