Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
