Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
