The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
two words...techno handjob
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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