She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
