People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
