Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My liver just had a heart attack.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
