Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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