If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
high people should be assigned attendants
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
