We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
