And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
