I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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