I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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