where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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