my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize