guys are only as good as the porn they watch
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
