Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
