God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
