I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
