Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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