I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You've changed since you got that strap on
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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