I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
