I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
