Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
