evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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