I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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