My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
