Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
