im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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