Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
