we have pet lesbian snakes
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
