you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
