It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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