Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
