season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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