Little spoons don't ask big questions
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
