Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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