I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He did a backflip because drugs
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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