nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
