Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
