So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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