Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
