Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
