remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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