you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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