Can i not drive my cunt home
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
