Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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