and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Congratulations! We have a period
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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