My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
