So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
