he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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