Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
