Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize