I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
