i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Can I color on your dick again?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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