I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
